vulnerable rem·i·nis·cence

. to talk or write about old times, past experiences, etc.

.recall the past

 .recapture the past; indulge in memories

.live in the past, go over in the memory

This morning I woke up recalling the past; this time last year. I found myself at a loss for words, [internally] thanking God that that time in my life has passed. It is not completely over as I still struggle today but, those feelings...those awful awful feelings of worthlessness, doubt, fear, pure unhappiness, are gone! Halle-freaking-lujah! 

Though I have not come as far as I had hoped by now (almost a year), I've certainly changed! Smiling was foreign. Laughter, bogus. Hope, non-existent. I still deal with strong insecurities and fight myself on a daily basis. Sometimes wishing I could just go Ali on myself-float like a butterfly or sting like a bee, either way it'd be a subject chamge : ) 

Not exactly sure why but, I felt compelled to share these feelings, this story, MY story, with you. 

I personally want to thank my mom, Barker, my family, my Bethany family and all of my friends for simply being there. You've taught me to smile with my heart, not just my mouth. Laughter now billows from my soul. And everyday I have hope for something new. You all are extraordinary people! Lots and lots of love from me to you!