tug-o-war

I am SO insatiable! It's kind of ridiculous!! Seriously. I am SO happy to not be in a relationship! Yet, I have such a strong desire to be with someone. Really I would just like to have someone to spend my free time with. Someone to call up and say "hey! let's go [here]__________!" or someone that will call me up just to chat and see how my day was. That's all! Seems fairly simple. Guess not though.

This internal tug-o-war hit hard today. I get so tired of spending my Friday nights at home or any night when the reality of my "loneliness" sets in really. It's just tough.

A good friend of mine shared a video with me today after I updated my facebook status to, "Single is not a status. It is a word that best describes a person who is strong enough to live and enjoy life." I do believe that but, mainly because I have no other choice right now. {I know I sound so lame-forgive me}. I am single. I am happy. I am strong. I am insatiable. I AM Stephanie.


LOVE the perspective on "loneliness" in this video. Enjoy!

a whole lotta NEW!

 I AM alive and well...Please accept my apology::I'm sorry for being a slacker! 2011 seems promising...I will strive to do better :)
-thanks!

Now onto all the goods! I'm going to unload some sites for you to check out!
my {new} photography business blog! Please follow and share if you will.
facebook page! Browse and "Like" it, please! 
my {new} online portfolio!
 I'm very excited about this year and have already busted my butt! Despite my slacking, I have continued to read the blogs I follow and appreciate everyone else staying so dedicated and in-tune. Blogging, or the lack thereof, is very enjoyable for me.


Hope you're having a wonderful week!
.stephanie.

a hometown hero and his wife

This beautiful couple happens to be dear friends of mine. My poor (not monetarily), fellow starbucks addict, Brandie now has to share her hubby with America and the war. Needless to say she's having a hard time coping with him being gone...he just recently left : ( This slideshow was made to put a smile on her face and hope in her heart. LOVE YOU!
photos by Yours truly...yes, ME!
music by 10th Concession

vulnerable rem·i·nis·cence

. to talk or write about old times, past experiences, etc.

.recall the past

 .recapture the past; indulge in memories

.live in the past, go over in the memory

This morning I woke up recalling the past; this time last year. I found myself at a loss for words, [internally] thanking God that that time in my life has passed. It is not completely over as I still struggle today but, those feelings...those awful awful feelings of worthlessness, doubt, fear, pure unhappiness, are gone! Halle-freaking-lujah! 

Though I have not come as far as I had hoped by now (almost a year), I've certainly changed! Smiling was foreign. Laughter, bogus. Hope, non-existent. I still deal with strong insecurities and fight myself on a daily basis. Sometimes wishing I could just go Ali on myself-float like a butterfly or sting like a bee, either way it'd be a subject chamge : ) 

Not exactly sure why but, I felt compelled to share these feelings, this story, MY story, with you. 

I personally want to thank my mom, Barker, my family, my Bethany family and all of my friends for simply being there. You've taught me to smile with my heart, not just my mouth. Laughter now billows from my soul. And everyday I have hope for something new. You all are extraordinary people! Lots and lots of love from me to you!

wreckless abandon

oh my word! A ridiculous amount of time has passed since I last updated! What a waste for the cute space! : ) I have had a lot and I mean A LOT going on. I've barely had a full day within the last 3-4 months to stop and smell the roses. My memory often fails me so lets see if I can even attempt a re-cap...*I am co-planing an incredible event called Rock n' Roses (this is what has consumed all my "extra", non-working time)...I am very proud to be a part of this, I cannot wait for September 25! Going to be SO fun! *I decided to make a life change and began working out, HARD, 3 days a week-I'm doing P90x and insanity...needless to say it's been INSANE! Squeezing in the time has been difficult but I make it work and it's always worth it (except for yesterday, I thought I was gonna hurl, NOT  fun!) haha! *This is not new news but it's re-occuring  and frustrating as ever-Remember "Mr. Exception"? He's still around, that pedestal I placed him on keeps getting closer and closer to the ground. We're great friends, which is awesome but, my girly emotions keep getting in the way. I cannot figure him out, nor can anyone else...he's a tough code to crack! Homegirl (moi) might have to suck it up and "spit some game" or whatever the kids are calling it these days! hahah! I've asked for plenty of advice and it's all greatly appreciated but I hear "do this", "don't do this", "just wait!", "talk to him about it", "go with the flow", yada yada yada! The only one who seems to not be "OK" is me! So, I'm trying to talk myself into doing what's right, or feels right anyways, for me and be content with it. Then, that will be that! Moving on...*Business has picked up which is SUPER sweet!! I have a shoot this evening with a local actress/friends mom/friend of mine and I'm really excited about it! It could open many doors for me!! of the heart photography

Wow, that was a cruddy re-cap...makes my claims of being ridiculously busy seem like hogwash. Oh well. That is that my friends! I say this all the time on her but, I will try to keep this updated as often as possible! In the meantime, check out the Rock n' Roses event website, get all the info you need and "like" our page on facebook! Hope life is grand and beautiful and even a little trying in hopes that you learn and grow stronger!

Happy Saturday darlings!

Dear, not-so-dear, Mr. Exception

Moment of honesty
Someones gotta take the lead tonight
Whose it gonna be?
I'm gonna sit right here
And tell you all that comes to me
If you have something to say
You should say it right now

You give me a feeling that I never felt before
And I deserve it, I think I deserve it
Its becoming something that's impossible to ignore
And I can't take it
I was wondering maybe
Could I make you my baby
If we do the unthinkable would it make us so crazy
If you ask me I'm ready, I'm ready, I'm ready
If you ask me I'm ready, I'm ready, I'm ready

I know you said to me
"This is exactly how it should feel when its meant to be"
Time is only wasting so why wait for eventually
If we gonna do something about it
We should do it right now

You give me a feeling that I never felt before
And I deserve it, I know I deserve it
Its becoming something that's impossible to ignore
Its what we make it
I was wondering maybe
Could I make you my baby
If we do the unthinkable would it make us so crazy
Or would it be so beautiful either way I'm saying
If you ask me I'm ready, I'm ready, I'm ready
If you ask me I'm ready, I'm ready, I'm ready

Why give up before we try
Feel the lows before the highs
Clip our wings before we fly away
I can't say I can't compare
I'm suspended it the air
Won't you come be in the sky with me

I was wondering maybe
Could I make you my baby
If we do the unthinkable would it make us so crazy
Or would it be so beautiful either way I'm saying
If you ask me I'm ready
If you ask me I'm ready



Thank you Ms. Alicia Keys!

a dump.

what? it is a dump, a picture dump. Dump. What a word. Say it! Isn't it funny? Dump. Ok that's enough.

I decided to do a post full of images from some recent shoots I've done. 

Enjoy this load (HA) of pictures.

See images from my shoot with 10th Concession here!

Have a lovely day!